“Everyone always told me that once I met a nice guy, my "nesting instinct" would kick in. But in a cruel twist of fate, getting shagged regularly seems to make one much more attractive to the opposite sex. So even though I'm having a great time with Paul, I can't help getting turned on when the hot French waiter at the local bistro winks at me. I wonder if he would be into a three-way? That's the kind of love nest I had in mind.”
Catherine Townsend in The Independent
http://comment.independent.co.uk/commentators/article2184480.ece
I think I may have used a piece from her before for a blog post but then maybe I am drawn to the subject matter of her pieces – being about relationships! Relationships are a good study subject. I am endlessly dissecting my own relationships – and maybe that’s why they are in a mess!
But reading this column today made me think of the wide differences in life between women of a certain age and women of a certain age because yesterday I was out for a meal with a group of female work colleagues and relationships are inevitably a de rigueur subject for discussion among women. In part it was to celebrate the promotion of one and in another part was to celebrate the impending marriage of another. The one getting married is a divorcee on the mature side of 45 who is embarking on another marital adventure. At this table the majority of the women are in their 40’s and 50’s, some married, some co-habiting and some not-so-comfortably single. One lady (also a divorcee), a cheerful, loquacious soul was talking quite wistfully about wanting ‘a man’, just someone to share the everyday things of life - and obviously a bit of sex thrown in as well. Someone just to be comfortably cosy with and a bit of company by the fireside.
Reading the above mentioned article made it seem more poignant. That on the one hand there are women of a certain age happily flitting from one unemcumbered relationship to another. Heavy on the petting and low on commitment. Easy on, easy off. No ties, no strings. And if they were men of course they would get criticised for their lack of commitment but that is another issue.
And on the other hand women of a certain age, an older age usually but not necessarily, hunting for and hungry for just one relationship to cuddle up with, a snuggle and slippers. A comfortable, kind, loving and, afters the rigours of divorce (s), easy-going chap.
It all goes pear shaped along the way somewhere though. A friend of my mothers is unable to leave the house for long for fear of what her husband with dementia will do to the house in her absence. But still, we all want a little bit of loving, whatever form it comes in. Loneliness stalks us all at some time in our lives.
Maybe it is just as well to hang onto the husband who irritates the piss out of me sometimes. The alternative might be even more depressing.
