From the Independent, on Tuesday, Catherine Townsend writes...
I was having coffee with my friend Richard the other day, trying to find a way of telling him that I wanted to see him in a new - and preferably horizontal - way. Usually when I have chemistry with someone we are ripping each other's clothes off in a matter of days. But since I was with my ex-boyfriend when we met, Richard and I were now trapped in that place of hopelessness and desperation: the Friendship Zone.
I felt stuck. I wanted to make a move, but didn't want to risk ruining the friendship if everything crashed and burned. Besides, the uncontrollable passion and intrigue at the beginning of the relationship has always been my favourite part: how could I be swept off my feet by a guy whom I'd already seen unshowered and wearing a stained sweatshirt?
I was also terrified of rejection, especially since I’m pretty sure that being knocked back with a line like: “I don’t want to risk ruining the friendship” translates to “I don’t want to see you naked. Ever” Even if he didn’t, what if the sex was horrible and the resulting awkwardness of seeing his hairy naked bits makes it impossible to look him in the eye ever again?
The trouble is that even though the primary purpose of sex is creation, or re-creation, it has a destructive side as well. How easy is is to destroy a good friendship - have sex. Although a really good friendship should, theoretically, survive - as friendship is friendship. But there is not one sexual relationship in my life that has remained in constant 'friendship' - they have all deteriorated and/or died. Maybe that's why I'm grown wary of that whole sexual arena these days!
The article was brought to my attention by a 'friend'.
2006-03-29 @ 18:20